


Michael's Squip

by sockiesock



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: michael's squip is jeremy, only because i dont know anything that michael's into, squipped!michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-16 01:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11243334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sockiesock/pseuds/sockiesock
Summary: me to me; okay hayden don't use too many lines from the book or musicalme to me; oh hey what if i use like half this page





	Michael's Squip

**Author's Note:**

> me to me; okay hayden don't use too many lines from the book or musical  
> me to me; oh hey what if i use like half this page

I stared at the shoebox in front of me, a small bottle of Mountain Dew in hand. I took a deep breath before opening the box, the squip pill inside.

"C'mon, Mikey.. You can do this."

I opened the Mountain Dew and picked the pill up. I took another deep breath before putting the grey, oblong pill in my mouth and swallowing it with the green soda.

I paused, not feeling a thing.

I then scoffed. "I wasted $500 on this.."

Then all of a sudden, I was in the worst pain of my life.

"O - ow! What the _fuck_!?"

 _Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort_ , a robotic voice said.

"Mild!?"

The pain was quickly over, luckily. But not for long.

_Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated. Discomfort level may increase._

And, like the voice warned, I was in more pain.

" ** _Motherfucker!_** " I held my head, tears dripping down my cheeks.

_Accessing neural memory. Accessing muscle memory. Access procedure complete._

And just as soon as it started, it was — for real this time — over. I whimpered and looked at the tall and oddly familiar figure in front of me.

 _Michael Mell, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor._ It paused for dramatic effect. _Your squip._

I squinted at the figure. "What the fuck..? You.. you look like.. Jeremy?"

_That's my default mode. You can also set me for Rivers Cuomo, Bob Marley, or Sexy Male Pornstar, but that one's a little distracting._

"Um.. I guess Jeremy is fine, having two of him wouldn't be so bad." I shrugged and stood up, now standing a bit taller than the squip. "Why do you look - and sound - like him? Are all squips like that?"

_No. I'm set to look like the person you're most likely to listen to._

"Oh."

_Now, Michael. We have a lot to work on with you._

"What do you mean?"

_I mean, you are a serious dork. Some squips have it easy. They have to memorize information for tests or smooth out occupational challenges or help people with stuttering problems. You, however, desire a complete behavioral overhaul, correct? You need to be more chill—_

"You mean I have to be more cool?"

_I do not. We only use squip-approved data for the vernacular, Michael. You have to talk as per rap-slash-hip-hop, the dominant music of youth culture._

"Um, okay."

_Now, there are many aspects to the changes you desire and implementing them will be complex._

I nod. "Okay."

_Step one is you stop speaking to me out loud. You'll look like a freak. Just speak to me in your brain. Like telepathy._

"Oh, cool—"

Like this?

I see the squip nod. I nod back.

This is hella gnarly.

_Hella gnar- ? You're really going to need some help. No one says gnarly. Ever._

Well, I do.

_Well you need to stop._

I suddenly realize how _weird_ this is--

_This is not weird, this is what you wanted._

I mean, hearing Jeremy's voice be so rude to me.. I'm not used to it.

_Get used to it._

Damn, okay. Are you always gonna be this rude?

_I'm only as rude as I have to be._

You don't have to be rude, really, I'll listen to you either way--

_Shut up._

I'm not exactly talking.

The squip stares at me, knowing that it's no match for my wit -

_Don't flatter yourself._

and I smirk in triumph.

Okay, so, now, how do we make me cool? Er.. chill?

I think "chill" in my most suave inner-voice, and I think it sounds cool.

_It doesn't. You sound like an idiot. Anyhow, you need to get new clothes._

What? Why? I like this hoodie.

_You've been wearing it for way too long._

I guess you're right. I nod. Where do I get the money for new clothes though?

_Take it from your moms._

What? I can't do that! Are you insane?

_Michael, I know what's best for you. Take the money._

I cross my arms.

Fine, I think to the squip.

I walk to my mom's' room, scanning the room for money they may have left.

_In the closet. There's a small vault._

I open the closet door, trying hard to not stare at any unholy sex toys I see, and notice a vault on a shelf high up on the wall. I grab it.

I don't know the combination.

_Five - Two - Eight - Three._

I put that in, and the mini vault door opens.

How much do I take?"

_$70 should be enough._

I suck in a breath and count 3 $20 bills and a 10.

Okay - I guess I'll have to drive to the mall, now?

The squip nods.

I walk downstairs and grab my car keys, heading into my PT Cruiser. The squip cringes.

_Oh my God._

What?

_/This/ is your car?_

Yeah, no shit.

The squip sighs.

_We'll fix this later. Just drive._

I nod and do as the squip instructs, starting my drive to the mall.


End file.
